Coping with Grief this Holiday Season

The holidays can be difficult for those who suffer the loss or impending loss of a loved one.  Last year a member of my family died, and this year another member of my family, who lives over 2,000 miles away, is in the process of dying.

In Ecclesiastes 3:1 we read “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”  Many Christians who are in the midst of the grieving process will cling to this and other Biblical passages throughout the upcoming holidays. Ecclesiastes 3 helps us to understand intellectually that God has a purpose for everything, even when it involves ushering a loved one home to spend eternity with Him.  However, our hearts may feel very heavy when we are frequently reminded that our loved ones will not be here to celebrate this forthcoming Thanksgiving or Christmas with us. 

As you know, memories from our past can be, at times, unpredictable and unsettling.  Something as simple as hearing a certain Christmas song or catching a whiff of cinnamon apple potpourri can cause a memory of past holidays shared with our departed loved one.  Some people who have recently suffered a loss may find it useful to turn inward and venture out as little as possible during the holiday months.  Others may seem to escape their emotional pain by forcing themselves to attend as many holiday gatherings as possible.  By continually keeping socially active, they seek to evade the pain of celebrating the holidays without their loved one.

If you are facing your first holiday season without your loved one, be mindful of what you are feeling.  Don’t allow yourself to feel pressured to do things that seem unnatural to you.  Conversely, don’t cloister yourself away from people, venturing outdoors only to buy basic necessities.  Rather, allow alone time with God where you can fellowship with Him and pray.  In Luke 5:16 we see how often Jesus did just that. 

Spending time alone with God helps us to focus on what He has designed for us on any given day.  God knows what you need and by reading His word and praying, He can guide you.   Be thankful for the strength that God is giving to you now to help sustain you through your grief.  At times you may feel alone, but you must remember that God is walking through this grieving process with you.   To help you work through the process of thanksgiving and praise, please visit http://www.intouch.org/you/thanksgiving-and-praise

Next, seek out friends that are supportive.  Be also open to invitations from your church friends to community holiday events.  For example, decide if you would rather attend a church social event at a restaurant rather than one given at a church member’s home.  The latter will seem more warm and intimate, and you needn't feel intimated by that.  In fact, placing yourself in such an environment may be just what you need right now.  If, however, you feel that you require some space, a social gathering at a restaurant may be more to your liking.  What’s most important is that you pay attention to your feelings, rather than worrying about accepting all of the invitations that may be extended to you. 

If you don’t have a church home, visit a Bible-based church in your community.  Don’t close yourself off from social contact, just because you aren’t yet a member of any church. Many church families are just waiting for your visit.  If you feel like reaching out and becoming involved in an activity like helping to feed the homeless for the holidays or Operation Christmas Child http://www.samaritanspurse.org/what-we-do/operation-christmas-child/  by all means do so.   You can elect to become involved in these activities through many churches, or you can visit the Operation Christmas Child website and become involved online.

As it is written in the 2 Corinthians 9:7  “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  Whether you are giving money, your time and/or your God-given gifts, know that you are making a positive difference in the lives of others.  As you become involved in these outreach programs, pray that God will use your participation to bless the recipients.

Don’t be shy about asking your pastor and Christian friends to pray for you, as well.   Keep in mind that churches often offer helpful resources to help you through the grieving process. You can find out about these resources, plus church prayer chains by inquiring at your local church.   If you prefer, written prayer requests can be submitted to In Touch Ministries.  For details, please visit http://www.intouch.org/prayer-request-form  Keep the following verse close by, and read it when you are feeling sad or lonely.  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

If you are a parent who is trying to help your child cope with the loss of a loved one, you may want to borrow a library copy of When Your Children Hurt by Dr. Charles Stanley.   You may also find the article http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/your-childs-emotions/how-to-help-your-child-grieve/how-to-help-your-child-grieve   How to Help Your Child Grieve by Candy Arrington to be very helpful.  

Finally, my prayer for you is that you will indeed feel God’s presence as you receive His strength throughout this holiday season.  Allow the peace of God to sustain you now and in the year to come.

Please note:  This post is not meant to be used to counsel people.  I am not a counselor.   My only hope is that some or all of the information contained herein will be helpful to others who are currently going through the same process.

Blessings in Christ,

Heidi

Angels Of Heart: Easter Activities

Angels Of Heart: Easter Activities: It might seem early to be thinking about Easter but I have to think about it right about now. Every year our church holds Easter Fellowship ...

February Christian Community Service Projects

The Holy Spirit invites us to use our God given talents and gifts to lovingly reach out and help others.
As Christians, we desire to serve. In fact, we know, that Jesus Christ came to earth to show us the way.

Mark 10:45
New International Version (NIV)
45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” http://www.biblegateway.com

This year commit to do something fun yet really meaningful for those in your community who are are sad and lonely. Children are often eager to engage in hands on projects where they can show their care and concern for others. Become involved in a project and possibly enlist the help of other families and friends. First, call your local nursing home or children's hospital and explain that you would like to bring handmade gifts to the patients. Find out the do's and don'ts of acceptable gift giving.

So, get busy and go to work. :-) Visit the Kids Activities - Community Service Ideas website. Scroll down until you see Project Ideas. Decide whether you want to make a cooking, sewing or other type of craft project. One word of caution here. The first time we became involved in a community project, we got a little carried away by our enthusiasm and spent more than we wanted. Don't make the same mistake. Meet with your other community project partners and agree that you will set a spending limit. To make the project enjoyable for everyone, be sure to also consider the age, ability, interest, and attention span of the children/teens involved in making the gifts.

Bargain hunting does take time but is well worth the effort. These trips are useful for children and teens as they learn about budgeting, units of measurement in cooking and how much yardage of material to buy.

Visit some craft, yardage and stationery stores in your area and explain what your group is doing and ask to see the discount and bins. Also inquire about possible discounts.

You can also cut costs by purchasing baking items at many discount grocery chains. Below, are some additional sites and recipes to consider for your cooking projects.

Kis Activities - Community Service Ideas

Free Valentine's Day Cards

Craftown Valentine Projects

Old Fashioned Sugar Cookie Cutouts ~ Recipe from Montessorian Kathy O’Reilly

Chocolate Chip Bars

Scented Baskets

IT'S A WRAP - Making Beautiful Gift Boxes

Although the service project mentioned in this posting is designed for the young, the elderly enjoy these projects as well. The Valentine bag pictured above was recently created by a 91 year old member of our family. She continues to be housebound because of illness but is motivated to reach out and help others. She currently is making these organza Valentine bags to give to women in need.

We did some bargain shopping and found some good buys through eBay auctions. Among the best bargains were the satin rosettes and organza bags. By clipping coupons and waiting for sales, we were also able to purchase ribbon and other trimming at deeply discounted prices.

This year, we knew that it was mandatory that we stay within our budget. Again, we made some price comparisons and found some very inexpensive lots of lip balm, mini hand lotion, etc. These items will be inserted into the 30 completed organza Valentine bags and given as gifts.

May the love and compassion that you send out to others be returned to you.

What Role Does God Play in Your Child’s Life?

With autumn fast approaching, many children are headed back to school, where they will start the new academic year and enroll in many extracurricular activities. Homeschoolers are restructuring their studies and beginning other new activities as well. Today, it’s important that you take some time to look at your child’s daily schedule of activities. What do you see? What should you see? Do you see that Christ is at the helm of your child’s daily life, or has He been delegated to a lesser role?

Art projects, music lessons, soccer games, and the myriad of other school related activities all have their place and are an integral part of your child’s educational and social development. However, no activity should ever supplant the need for daily devotions, regular Biblical readings and discussions. Without this Bible based approach to learning, a child may begin to feel that ‘he’ is empowered to make decisions, without checking in with God first. He decides which subjects he will engage in and which he will ignore. His character is gradually being shaped by his will not God's will.

A child, who does not have God at the helm of his life, may begin to feel a false sense of pride when he excels academically. Likewise, the feeling of humiliation may cause his self-esteem to plummet when he fails that dreaded test. Conversely, a child who is Christ centered, will see his successes and failures in a more balanced way. This complete trust in God's plan for his life, allows the child to develop the confidence and willingness to finish that difficult academic assignment as well as tackle other educational and social challenges that need to be faced.

By making certain that your child’s life is fixed in truth, you will be careful not to bring in extracurricular activities that may be so appealing that, in the end, Christ is given a subservient role.

The entries in this blog will help you to plan lessons that are related to different themes, events and pivotal people in the Bible. Use the ‘keyword’ box to type in words for Bible based lessons. You can also peruse through the archives to find topics that God is calling you to explore. You will find many useful resources links to free hands-on lessons, pdfs, and object lessons for each of these topics. May God richly bless you and your family for your faithfulness this school year.

Beyond the Legend of the Sand Dollar

Praise the LORD, my soul.
LORD my God, you are very great;
you are clothed with splendor and majesty.

Psalm 104:1
http://www.biblegateway.com

As I write this, the birds are chirping, and a gentle breeze is blowing. The beauty of spring is a reminder of the new life that we experience through our Savior. As nature begins to awake from its deep sleep, leaves begin to appear on the once barren trees. Flowers grow and bloom, and the lush green grass caresses our feet as we gingerly step through nature trails to bask in the splendor of God’s beauty. In these quiet, contemplative moments, we experience God’s presence.

Yesterday was an incredibly beautiful day as well, but my hectic schedule frequently keeps me confined to the indoors. What an unexpected surprise when, in between quick errands and extended periods of work, God provided an hour for me to venture outside and grab some sunshine. I decided to use my time wisely and visit the California Seashell Company in Seal Beach, CA.

This unique store is frequented primarily by parents, children and teens year round. Because it is housed close to the actual beachfront, many curious tourists stop in and lose track of the time, as they revel in all the California Seashell Company has to offer.

So that children can thoroughly examine the intricacies of what God has created, I love to present specimens of nature for children to explore. Looking around the store, I found myself in awe of the multitudinous array of seashells that God has created.

Later, during a work break, I decided to do some research about some of the types of seashells I had seen at the store. My eyes fell on this little poem I found at Seashsells.org This beautiful, meaningful legend is a good conversation starter and can easily be incorporated into new or existing Biblical science and literature lessons.

The Legend of the Sand Dollar

There’s a lovely little legend
That I would like to tell,
Of the birth and death of Jesus
Found in this lowly shell.

If you examine closely
You’ll see that you find here,
Four nail holes and a fifth one
Made by a Roman’s spear.

On one side the Easter Lily,
Its center is the star,
That appeared unto the shepherds
And led them from afar.

The Christmas Poinsettia
Etched on the other side,
Reminds us of His birthday
Our happy Christmastide.

Now break the center open
And here you will release,
The five white doves awaiting
To spread Good Will and Peace.

This simple little symbol
Christ left for you and me,
To help us spread His Gospel
Through all Eternity

Go beyond the legend this spring, to discuss how God reveals himself to us through nature. The upcoming months offer many opportunities to engage children in activities that can be used to combine science and literature with Bible study.

Spend some time at
Seashells.org Identification to learn the names
of the different types of seashells that your child may see at the beach this summer.

The links below will also assist you with your odyssey.

The Metamorphosis of a Butterfly

AMC Spring Lesson
Planning Newsletter - Part I Bird-watching with Children

God's Presence Revealed through Nature

Experiencing God Moment by Moment

May you and your children experience many unexpected blessings and the presence of God through your studies together. :-)

Bartimaeus - An Epitome of Faith and Service

For the past two years, I have listened to some of the recent sermons available at the Good Shepherd Presbyterian Church website and have been blessed with what I had heard. In fact, periodically, I have made reference to these archived sermons, on this blog.

On 10/31/10 when I was unable to attend a church service, I decided to once again listen to an archived sermon. I was unaware that the GSPC website had undergone a dramatic transformation, so it took me a minute or two to become acclimated to where the recently archived sermons were housed. I quickly found the site map and was overjoyed to discover that visitors to the http://www.gspc.org website can now not only listen to but also actually see the sermons as they were originally presented. I scrolled down and tried to decide which one to listen to first. My eyes settled on the A Perceptive Request - Mark 10:46-52 sermon. Please see http://www.biblegateway.com to read this passage.


The sermon, A Perceptive Request, was delivered by Rev. Dr. James Wilson. This very thoughtful, contemplative, unassuming pastor always delves deep into scripture and uses related subject matter found in the news, literature and other resources to highlight some of the key points of his sermon. Consequently, I was prepared to listen to a message that would be a blessing. However, I believe that this sermon goes far beyond being a blessing to those who are able to listen to it. This pastor effectively shared a personal experience in a manner that can deeply touch your soul and aid you in your Bible lesson plans about Bartimaeus.

I encourage you, now, to take a block of time to hear this sermon. Please see Good Shepherd Presbyterian Church - Sermon A Perceptive Request to access the audio and video links. After you have experienced the message, please return back to this blog to access the lesson plans.

As I was listening to Dr Wilson speak, I found myself wondering about how many listeners could, in some way, identify with Bartimaeus. Many of us may have had something happen throughout the course of our life to make us feel unworthy. Like Dr. Wilson, we may have buried the experience, and it isn't until later in life, we discover how profoundly that past event has impacted us. As Dr. Wilson pointed out, Jesus can both understand and release us from our pain. For example, in Mark 10, we see that Jesus engages both James and John and later Bartimaeus in conversation and poses the same question twice. The responses to Jesus' question are vastly different. In fact, James and John's comments cleary demonstrate that they still didn't understand Christ's purpose for coming to earth.
Please see http://www.biblegateway.com

Mark 10:35 - 37.

35 Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. “Teacher,” they said, “we want you to do for us whatever we ask.”

36 “What do you want me to do for you?” he asked.

37 They replied, “Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory.”

38 “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said. “Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?”

39 “We can,” they answered.

Jesus said to them, “You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, 40 but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared.”

41 When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John. 42 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”


In Mark 10:51 http://www.biblegateway.com, we see the same question addressed to Bartimaeus.

“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.

Unlike John and James, Bartimaeus, understood who Jesus was and why he was placed on earth.

The magnitude of Bartimaeus' healing is a concept that may be misunderstood by children and teens. It’s important for children to realize that Bartimaeus lived in a society that labeled the blind as being "unworthy" and "useless". Bartimaeus' faith in Christ, his determination to shed this label, and willingness to reach out and allow Jesus to heal him, are pivotal points that need to be underscored.

Bartimaeus saw something others couldn’t comprehend. He saw that Jesus was placed on earth to show what service was about. Because Bartimaeus understood the concept of serving others, he wanted to be healed and was eager to follow Jesus.

Children and teens can greatly benefit from object, hands on and other lessons about this passage in scripture. The lessons and lesson planning ideas below can serve to help children see the relationship of faith and healing to the desire to serve.


Blind Bartimaeus - PreK - Kindergarten
Absolutely awesome set of crafts, object lessons, and more.


Jesus Heals Blind Bartimaeus - Elementary Grades (Integrated Activities and Printables)

Bartimaeus - Act It Out! These lessons are designed for the lower early elementary grades, but they can be adapted to accommodate other grade levels, as well.

Jesus Heals the Blind Man - These PreK/3s lesson plans and activities can be used in either large or small group settings.

Prayer Lessons from Blind Bartimaeus
These lessons can be adapted for grades 5 - adult.

May God richly bless you for your faithfulness. :-)

Serving God throughout the Hoilday Season

Serving God throughout the Holiday Season

Perhaps, like me, you are in a season, where more doors for service seem to be closed, rather than open. Currently, I am helping to care for two people who have serious chronic health problems. Jesus wants us to serve our family members, especially our parents. Yet, God uses the Holy Spirit to show us additional opportunities for service, as well. God knows our strengths and weaknesses, and He uses service opportunities to help us to grow and become mature Christians.

For some us, the areas of “boundaries” is a stumbling block, creating an inner conflict as to how much or too little serve. Some, reading this message, may be too rigid in setting boundaries. When faced with a chance to serve the overwhelming fear may be that the task will be draining and too much energy will be expended in an attempt to try to serve others.

For others the need to serve tends to be never ending. These servers are overly generous with their time and talents. This can result in a feeling of exhaustion, at times. These servers brush off any signs of fatigue or self-neglect. Their innate need to try to “give” as much as possible can cause an emotional and/or physical imbalance that can lead to poor health.

All of us, from one time or another, may have been undecided as to what service roles we should accept. As Christians, we desire to be good role models for the children and teens in our lives; therefore, it is important for us to set aside our wants and needs and prayerfully ask God how we are to serve.

It is certainly difficult to leave a service situation when we have felt that the Holy Spirit has called us to serve. This is especially true when we know that God used us in a larger way to bear fruit for the kingdom. Yet, we need to be obedient to God's plan. If we are spiritually aware and know that we are being guided by the Holy Spirit, we can see the signs of a door that is about to shut. We must allow the door to close, be patient and willing to walk through new doors of service that will be open to us in the future.

Today, as I listened to a sermon Walking in the Spirit, delivered by Dr. Charles Stanley, I was reminded of how powerful the Holy Spirit is in our walk with God. The Spirit will lead us to the areas where our spiritual gifts can most effectively be used. If we are walking with God and are spiritually aware, the Spirit alerts us to these opportunities. We, in turn, are given the free will to be obey or to disobey. Naturally, it’s much easier to desire to be obedient when we are leading a God's centered life. If we find ourselves in a place where we are being led astray, the Holy Spirit will step right in, and help us to get back on the right track.

Take some time each day to pray to God about how He wants to use you. Perhaps, this holiday season there is something special that God has planned for you and the children in your life. Your service opportunities may lead you to projects that will bless many people. Or, perhaps, God will be selecting you to participate in smaller, behind the scenes types of service opportunities. These types of service opportunities are just as important and should never be discounted. There isn't one single service opportunity that is more important than another. In Romans 12, Paul talks about spiritual gifts and the importance each of us equally can play for the benefit of God's kingdom.

To help you to discover how God can use you to serve others, please read an earlier message that I wrote this year.
Please see Having a Heart for Jesus


You can help your children lean about service throughout the upcoming holiday season by becoming involved in community service projects. The following is from the amonco.org website. Copyright 2007-2010.

“Become involved in a project and possibly enlist the help of other families and friends. First, call your local nursing home or children's hospital and explain that you would like to bring handmade gifts to the patients. Find out the do's and don'ts of acceptable gift giving. Now, get busy and go to work.

Visit the FamilyCares website. Scroll down until you see Project Ideas. Decide whether you want to make a cooking, sewing or other type of craft project. One word of caution here. The first time we became involved in a community project, we got a little carried away by our enthusiasm and spent more than we wanted. Don't make the same mistake. Meet with your other community project partners and agree that you will set a spending limit. To make the project enjoyable for everyone, be sure to also consider the age, ability, interest, and attention span of the children/teens involved in making the gifts.

Visit some craft, yardage and stationery stores in your area, and ask to speak with the manager. Explain what your group is doing and ask to see the remnant racks and bins. Inquire about possible discounts. You can also cut costs by purchasing baking items at many discount grocery chains. Peruse through your favorite Sunday newspaper for sales and coupons. Although many stores have greatly limited their inventory, with a little perseverance and a positive attitude, you will find what you need.
Below, are some additional sites and recipes to consider for your cooking projects."


Sara Ambarian provides ideas and resources to help us minimize the cost and maximize the enjoyment of this season. Numerous helpful links will help you to get started on your family gift giving and Christian community service projects, as well. Please read Re-thinking Holiday Priorities During Tough Times to access this article.

Links to additional Christian based holiday projects are listed below:


Teaching Bible Verses Using Crafts


Thanksgiving Bible Crafts from Christian Preschool Printables

Kids' Christian Thanksgiving Crafts

Christian Christmas Crafts for Kids - Religious Christmas Craft Ideas

May you and those around you who participate in these Christian outreach projects also be blessed in numerous ways throughout this special holiday season.